Warm up
What WAS I thinking? Coulda, shoulda stayed in bed. Coulda shoulda gone to happy hour instead. But sure enough, I would have gotten a text, or Katie or Sherry would have asked me where I was so it's just easier to show up. But I could have made up a really good excuse. THAT was the warm up? It felt more like a workout.
Exercise Demo
REALLY? Are you serious? Do you stay up all night long thinking about ways to torture us? Or do you just come up with new exercises in your dreams? I don't think my body moves that way.
Round 1
BURPEES!? Again? I HATE Burpees. I shouldn't have had that second cup of coffee or second soft drink. Do they hate themselves as much as they hate us? Okay, just do it. But don't push too hard on the first round or you will die. How many seconds is this 30 seconds? I thought I heard the beeper. Why is everyone else still moving? Did they forget to start the stupid thing?
Round 2
Okay, I survived round 1 and my pectoral muscles aren't actually going to snap in two when I do a push up, and contrary to what I was thinking when I couldn't sit down on the toilet I can sort of do a squat. Maybe, just maybe I can do this.
Round 3
Bring it on! I think I really can do this now. I am glad I skipped happy hour. All those poor fools are still lying in bed when they could be working up a sweat and getting a great start to their morning. I can reward myself after this! No wait, this IS the reward.
Round 4
Spoke too soon. Why does Sherry keep yelling at me? I AM working as hard as I can. Just SHUT up! Katie is speaking Swahili and I can't understand what she is saying which I am sure is a good thing. Why did I have that burrito for lunch? It should be halfway digested by now instead of in my throat. Seriously, my lungs are on fire, my legs are on fire, and I am going to do a face plant on my next push up. I must be hallucinating. I am seeing Sherry and Katie flying around on brooms. On second thought, I am sure that is probably how they get around.
Round 5
WHO says exercise is good for you? What round is this? It must be seven, right? Uh oh, that burrito is not in my throat. DON'T poop your pants! Maybe I should just go to the bathroom and no one will notice if I don't come back into the room. Or maybe no one would notice if I just slipped out the side door. DON'T poop your pants. Happy hour or sleep would have been WAY better than this. What was I thinking?! Why do I do this? DON'T pants your poop.
Round 6
When will it be over? Everything hurts. My teeth hurt. Turn up the music! Did I just pick up someone else's dumbbells? I took my eyes off Katie for a split second and she must have traded my dumbbells for heavier ones. Wait, I think I have actually just gone beyond pain and entered a level of numbness. Is that good or bad? I can't stand this song! Who picked this song? Who can work out to this?
Round 7
ROUND 7! I AM going to make it! Second wind! I can do it! Sweat is fat crying! BYE BYE! If it doesn't challenge you it doesn't change you. I think I have done 742 push ups. I can do just a few more! Just one more round after this.
Round 8
Finish line in sight. Come on, just one more set of burpees. You can do anything for 30 seconds! Come on triceps, you can relax after this round. I'm on fire now. Strong to the end.
Done!
I ROCK! That was amazing. Thanks for the push to do heavier weights, Katie! Thanks for the awesome workout, Sherry! I didn't feel like coming but I am glad I did. Now I can go home and feel good about starting, or ending, my day well.
We know that exercise can be a love/hate relationship. We live it every day. You make us laugh and smile with your comments. So keep them coming. But most of all you make us proud by pushing yourselves to achieve things you once didn't think were possible.
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